Man, remember those heady days of April, back when I was, like, blogging all the time (and stuff)? Well, you know, life happens (and stuff), but here I am trying to get back on the ball. Let’s give this thing a whirl…
Rebutting the Internet
I’ve read enough analysis about the Saints game 1 victory and ventured far enough into the comments and chats that I think I get a sense of what people are saying about this team. And, frankly, a lot of it is ridiculous.
- ZOMG MARK INGRAM SUCKS MY 5 YEAR OLD COULD RUN BETTER THAN HIM! Or some variation of that thought. Look, I admit he didn’t have the greatest (or even a good) game, but 9 carries for a back who’s proven he needs touches to get going (as much for the season as for one game) doesn’t prove anything. And, according to this fantastic film study of the game by Larry Holder, on nearly half of those carries he was given no chance by his blockers. In fact, on only one play did there appear to be an opening that Ingram missed. Combine this with the necessity of a deep and talented backfield in today’s NFL and I think it’s safe to say everyone needs to take a deep breath and show some patience. I actually have Ingram and PT stashed on my fantasy team’s bench – either one gets hurt and I’m flexing the other. Also, your 5 year old sucks at football.
- DREW DIDN’T THROW FOR ELEVENTY HUNDRED YARDS, IS HE HURT?! 26/35, 357 yards, 2 touchdowns. Game 1. Damn people, calm the f*ck down.
- ONE THING I’VE ALWAYS HATED ABOUT BREES, HE DOESN’T THROW THE DEEP BALL GOOD. It’s ok, I know some of you (us?) forget which team we follow and love. So I’ll forgive you if you had a thought like this, but let me remind you that you are a Saints fan and before Drew you had no damned idea what a competent QB looked like (maybe Hebert), much less a great one. And this goes for the laundry list of petty complaints I see from comment section experts – he takes too many chances, or he’s not tall enough, or what IS the deal with that mole, anyway. You’re a New Orleans Saints fan with one of the greatest QB’s in NFL history guiding your team through the prime of his career, which has already brought them (us?) one Super Bowl victory. You are not required to provide your non-expert analysis, just shut up and enjoy the show.
- KENNY STILLS GOT CAUGHT FROM BEHIND, HE MUST BE SLOWER THAN MY GRANDMOTHER! I guess you, theoretical idiot, must have never heard of a little thing called Geometry. Or, uh, Trigonometry. Something-ometry. Anyway, the point is, Stills caught the pass outside the left hashmark at the 50 yard line and was tackled on the right sideline at the 15 yard line by a guy who, as far as I can tell from the video, was about even with him (maybe at the Saints 45), but on the right side of the field. In other words, Stills ran a lot further than the guy who caught him. Here, let me show you:
Did I just go Pythagorean on that ass? Yessir, I did. So, the guy who caught Kenny (you bastard!) had approximately an 11 yard head start and was in a dead sprint, while Stills was preoccupied with the other really fast guys trying (and failing) to tackle him. The point is, Kenny Stills is really fast.
- ROMAN HARPER BLAH BLARG BLARLRLAJARLKLJARL! Enough. I get it. He occasionally gets burned in coverage. He’s also a beast. Go look in a mirror and say “Roman Harper” five times and see what happens.
Game 2 Wishlist
- The Rise of the Downtrodden, part 1. I’m hesitant to predict a breakout game for the running attack, simply because Tampa Bay does seem to have a potentially potent defense. However, I can see a week of ticked off Sean Payton doing wonders for the O-line, so I’m going to say Mark Ingram gets somewhere in the vicinity of 18 carries for 85 yards and a TD. Overall the run game produces 140 yards in a game the Saints are firmly in control of by the fourth quarter.
- The Rise of the Downtrodden, part 2. Roman Harper got the game clinching pick last week, but I think this is the week that Malcolm Jenkins looks like a 1st round draft pick. With the front four generating heat on an inconsistent Josh Freeman I can see #27 getting 2 interceptions.
- The Rise of the Rookies. Kenny, Kenny and Dancing Bear Jenkins, go do your thing. I’m sorry. Go do your thang. I’m hesitant to talk more about this rookie class, but dang they look good so far.
- Final Score. 2-0 would be oh so very sweet. The Buccaneers will be fired up after their improbable loss to the J-E-T-S JETS JETS JETS and will keep it close for the first quarter plus. But before halftime the Saints offense starts clicking on all cylinders and opens up a big lead. The fourth quarter is all about pounding with the run game and getting after the quarterback. Saints 37 – Bucs 14