This week saw the media going into full spazz over the story that some Wisconsin teens stabbed a friend nineteen times in some bizarre homage to everyone’s favorite fake internet bad guy, #Slenderman. Predictably, the talking heads were shocked – SHOCKED! – that somebody would make up something on the internet and even more boggled that someone would use it as an excuse for their own horrible actions. So, like Ozzy Osborne, Judas Priest, Super Mario and Teletubbies before him, #Slenderman is now BAD and something for PARENTS TO WATCH OUT FOR and OMG WON’T SOMEBODY THINK OF THE CHILDREN.
Well, dammit, #Slenderman means something else around here. It means smooth handles, hard defense and rebounds. It means ball movement and an improving jump shot. It means work ethic, patience and future possibilities. #Slenderman means Otto Porter and a couple of mouth breathing, twisted little bastards aren’t going to change that. YOU CAN’T HAVE MY MEME!
- The MLB draft started last night, with the Cubs selecting slugger Kyle Schwarber. Though some seem surprised, it took me about 3 seconds to get fully on board with it. Truthfully, my only reservation is the likelihood of someone with a name like “Schwarber” having any success, with anything, anywhere. Oh well, somebody has to break the mold. Bleacher Nation has a rundown of videos and scouting reports to get your salivary glands salivaring, or whatever it is that they do.
- After Schwarber, the Cubs took a college right-handed starter from the University of Maryland and then a college catcher, before grabbing a pair of prep lefties. The second of these, the immaculately named Justin Steele, becomes my new favorite Cubs farmhand (assuming he signs).
- UPDATE: This just in, one round after taking the handsomely named Mr. Steele, they’ve gone off and drafted the gentlemanly sounding Dylan Cease, a right handed prep starter with a big fastball (when healthy). If these guys ever pitch in the same game…
- The other delightful story to come out of Cubs-dom this week was the discovery of Harry Caray’s drinking diary from 1972. Yes, you read that right, the man kept a log of every bar he visited and every person he drank with for an entire year (for tax reasons, of course). And what a year it was, as Harry hit the town 354 out of 357 days and nights, including 288 straight at one point, before then going on (cue drum roll) …VACATION! Along the way he rubbed shoulders, and who knows what else, with the likes of Wilt Chamberlain, Gale Sayers and Jack Benny.
- I’ve got to get this Zen Pencils poster, ON THE SHOULDERS OF GIANTS: The science all-stars poster.
- Unfortunately, there wasn’t much time for surfing this week and so the links are a little short today. All good, let’s jam some Andrew Bird!